


It's not a big deal

by P_Junhee



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Cheating, Guilt, I'm not fully sure where this will go but I wanted to warn for people who need warnings, Loneliness, M/M, Self-Hatred, the others might show up too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-05 08:11:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13383744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P_Junhee/pseuds/P_Junhee
Summary: It's tough being in a relationship when you are both busy, and maybe the feelings are not like they were when you just started out. But one stupid mistake could be detrimental for everyone involved.





	1. One Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> It might not be up to the standards I was hoping for, I really am curious to know how you think about this whole idea, It's a challenge for me too.

_“I have half an hour off now if you know what I mean_ ~~” Junhee bit his lower lip as he wrote the message, the rest of his team were either on their phones or getting some air.

 _“I still have practice, maybe later?”_ the message came quickly, he didn’t want to admit it, but his smile faded.

 _“It’s fine, when are you done?_ ~” he knew Donghun was busy these days, he was too of course, but with them both on survival shows they didn’t get to see each other often and the times they had in the dorm were fewer these days.

 _“We’re having a food break around 8”_ he let out a sigh.

 _“No good, we eat at 6”_ he typed out, leaning his head against the cool wall and letting his arms fall down his side. The phone buzzed again.

 _“Maybe tomorrow then, I love you”_ he smiled, typing a quick “ _I love you”_ back before putting his phone away. Dating sucked.

“Hey” He looked up, it was Rayoon, sliding down the wall to sit next to him.

“You look tired” he smiled sweetly, it was impossible for Junhee not to smile back, even letting out a small chuckle and shaking his head.

“Not tired just, frustrated really…” he sighed again.

“It’s tough isn’t it?” the other singer placed an arm around him.

“Easy for you to say, Yoochan is right here with you” they both chuckled at the comment.

“But when we are done with this show, it will be me waiting for texts from my busy boyfriend” Junhee couldn’t help but smile at the other man’s words. He was a good boyfriend for Chan, Junhee envied them sometimes.

“I’m sure you two will find time for each other, it’s different with me and Donghun hyung we just…” he trailed off, folding his knees under his chin and hugging his legs “it’s just as if he doesn’t really care to make time for me anymore…”

“You’re just tired, you’re overthinking everything” Yoon smiled, squeezing the other singer’s shoulder slightly.

“Maybe” Junhee chuckled, leaning back again and running a hand through his hair.

“Wait” Yoon got up from his spot and walked over to the other guys in the room, Junhee couldn’t tell what they were talking about but when the singer came back he was smiling.

“Go sleep, They agreed to extend the break a bit, I’ll wake you up when we have dinner” the blonde man grinned widely, he was really an angel.

“I don’t know what to say” Junhee stood up, he didn’t know if he should hug the other man or thank the others for extending the break.

“Just sleep”

 

* * *

 

 

Sleeping was just what he needed, as soon as he had lied down on the bed he had fallen asleep. The room was dark and quiet, he was deep in his sleep when he slowly began stirring awake.

He could feel, hands? He wasn’t fully awake yet and maybe he was still sleeping because he could swear the hands were feeling him up. It had to be Donghun, Donghun whom he missed, Donghun’s hands going up his shirt, Donghun’s lips landing on his, ghosting over his.

“Hyung…” his voice was thin and groggy, rough from sleep and somewhat whiny and needy, he wanted Donghun so much.

A small chuckle escaped the other man’s lips, Junhee could feel the breath on his face “not hyung, unless you want me to be?” the voice startled him awake in a second, the man on top of him was not his boyfriend, it was Yoochan’s boyfriend, Kim Yoon.

“What are you doing!?” his heart was beating fast, racing in his chest as he tried to understand the situation “did you kiss me!?” his voice was raised slightly, he tried to sit up but the other man wasn’t budging.

“Junhee, calm down and let me talk” the other man was calm, smiling sweetly down at him, his hands still under the other singer’s shirt.

He wanted to push him off but this was his friend, it was Yoon, his friend Yoon, he was probably just overreacting again like with his worries about Donghun.

“Aren’t you… tired of waiting?” his voice was thick with seduction, Junhee couldn’t be dreaming that, the blonde singer sitting on his lap was definitely flirting with him, his hands moving under his shirt.

“Yoon… I have a boyfriend, you have a boyfriend” he tried to keep calm, keep his voice down as his shirt was lifted up.

“I know, and I love Yoochan” he smiled “I love him, but you need someone right now” nothing was making sense to Junhee, he somewhat hoped this was all a dream still.

Yoon’s hands were warm and dry, they were barely touching his skin, moving up his sides.

“If you love him, why are you doing this?” when Yoon’s fingers reached the singer’s nipples, it was as if Junhee’s body finally remembered how to move. He grabbed the other man’s wrists and held them tightly, startling the man on top of him.

“Junhee” he chuckled, and instead of trying to free his hands, he leaned down, placing his lips on the neck of the man under him, kissing the panting singer before whispering “everyone is doing it”.

His head hurt, Junhee’s head hurt and he didn’t seem to understand words anymore. He could feel himself getting turned on, he could feel the pleasure of the other man’s nibbling and sucking on his naked skin, he could feel his own hands letting go of the wrists and Yoon’s hands getting back to feeling their way up and down his body.

“What are… what do… what?” he wasn’t supposed to stutter, he wasn’t planning on it but all the sensations were numbing him, mixed with the fact he had only just woken up.

“I mean” Yoon’s lips moved away from his skin only long enough to lift his shirt off of him “everyone is having sex, it isn’t a big deal” the man leaned down again, lips claiming Junhee’s collarbone, sucking and marking it, coursing a small moan to escape his parted lips.

“But… but we… you aren’t single you… what about Yoochan? What about…. About Donghun?” he could feel his head reeling when the other man grinded himself against him, slowly rubbing his erection against Junhee, looking to excite him as well.

“Yoochan is with Junyoung right now, don’t think about this that way” the man stopped his grinding for a second, pulling away a little and grabbing Junhee’s chin, looking him in the eyes “Don’t you think Donghun is doing things where he is too?”

The silence was deafening, the two looking into each other’s eyes, judging, contemplating, assessing the situation, and without a warning Junhee dug his hands into the other man’s hair, pulling him down into a frantic kiss.

He didn’t want to think, he didn’t need it, what he needed was what Yoon was giving him. The other man responded to the kiss without hesitation, his tongue fully exploring the other singer’s mouth, Junhee tasting something he had never tasted before.

Yoon was quick, he was, if possible, even needier than Junhee was. He removed his own shirt without missing a beat, leaning back down to kiss the singer’s chest, planting kisses all the way down the exposed torso.

Junhee could feel his back arching at the touch, at the other man’s hands on his pants, pulling the sweats down with his boxers and exposing his growing erection.

“Yoon…. We…” he tried to stammer, the other man already removing his own clothes and leaving himself completely naked.

“Yoon… con… condom…” the singer managed to stutter, his hands gripping at the sheets when the other man kissed his inner thighs, curling his legs up to get access.

“Yah Junhee, you know I’m clean, what has Chan been telling you?” Yoon was chuckling at his joke, grinning down at the other man, but the words only managed to create a painful hole in Junhee’s stomach, the thought that this was what him and Yoochan was doing washed over him, completely numbing him to the fact that the other man had reached off of the bed and gotten a bottle of lube out of his pants.

He began to doubt himself, he wondered if he should stop the other man now and they could pretend they never even entertained the idea of doing this, but when Yoon’s wet finger slowly pressed it’s way inside him he forgot all his worries, all he could focus on was how long he had gone without sex.

Yoon was careful and thorough, he wasn’t in a rush as he stretched the other man excruciatingly slow, Junhee was arching and moaning for him to just move on and do it already, he could feel himself leaking with precum just from the teasing, it had been so long.

“You’re so loud, you want the others to hear?” the man teased as he finally removed his fingers after what felt like hours.

“I… just… just… fuck me” he was panting by now, the other man knew how to work his fingers just right, he had stopped just in time.

“You look so beautiful like this” Yoon’s sweet voice made the hole in his stomach appear again, he couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt when the other man pressed himself against his hole, pushing inside slowly, looking down at him with such loving eyes. He thought of Donghun, how Donghun looked at him, how he spoke to him.

He could feel his stomach contracting, it almost felt like he was sobbing without tears, but at the same time the thrusts sent pleasure through his body. This wasn’t wrong, Donghun was doing it too, Yoochan was doing it.

He threw his head back, his exposed neck immediately getting attacked by Yoon’s hungry lips, sucking and biting at the flesh. He could feel he was close, the way Yoon moved in him was so calculated, so experienced, but for once he stopped thinking about why that was and instead let himself enjoy the way the man rubbed himself against his prostate.

“Jun… Junhee.. I..” the man on top of him was panting, he was close. Junhee wrapped a hand around his own member, pumping at a frantic pace, he could feel himself going over the edge as well.

Yoon came first, he came inside of him, and as Junhee felt himself go over the edge, staining his hand and stomach, all he could think of was the fact him and Donghun had only once had sex without a condom.

They were both panting, Junhee had closed his eyes, he didn’t know when, but now he was scared of opening them.

“That… was so good… you are so good Junhee” the sweet voice made the hole feel worse, he almost wished the other man would tell him he had been a horrible lay.

“Do you want me to clean you?” Junhee opened his eyes, he had to.

“No I need a shower anyway” he tried to sound indifferent, it seemed to work as Yoon was still smiling on top of him, he had pulled himself out and now just hovered over him.

“Want me to join?” he smirked, it was obviously a joke and Junhee knew he was overreacting again, like Yoon said, it wasn’t a big deal, everyone was doing it.

“If you want” he smiled, more genuinely this time. He needed to stop thinking so much, it was normal, he had done nothing wrong.

But if nothing was wrong, why did the hole keep growing?

 


	2. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a mess isn't it?...  
> Sorry guys, I'll do better

“Junhee…” Yoon’s voice brought him out of his thoughts, the hand on his shoulder reminding him once again of what had happened the day before.

“You’re thinking about it again aren’t you?” the blonde man was smiling sweetly, Junhee couldn’t help but sigh in defeat, he needed to get his emotions under control, if Yoon could read him this well, getting back to Donghun scared him.

“Ok look, I get it that you’re worried but listen” he lowered his voice and wrapped his arm around Junhee’s shoulders, pulling him down so they could speak in somewhat privacy.

Junhee looked around the cafeteria, not everyone had arrived yet but most of the other men were eating cheerfully, sitting with their friends and discussing everything under the sun.

“Now, Seyong hyung right?” Yoon looked at Junhee before glancing at the man he was discussing. Seyong was sitting only a table away, eating with the same guys he always ate with.

“Right?” he didn’t know where Yoon was going with this.

“Ok, you know him and Kwangseok hyung have a thing right?” the leader of their team was sure enough sitting next to the other man. Junhee had heard some rumours about the two and they did seem close.

“But he’s also been with Euijin hyung” Yoon nodded towards the other dancer, sitting at another table mainly consisting of his team.

“And Euijin hyung has been with…” Yoon began again before Junhee pressed a finger against the lips, stopping him in the tracks.

“Ok, thank you, I think I get it” Yoon’s bright grin under his finger made him cheer up too, he was right, everyone was doing it and he just needed to relax. He chuckled when Yoon did the same, and the hole in his stomach somehow seemed to grow smaller.

“Guys!” Yoochan’s excited call interrupted them, Junhee cursed himself for how quickly he removed his finger from Yoon’s lips, he still felt strange about the whole thing, even if Yoon was smiling like nothing had changed as the maknae sat down next to him and the blonde man wrapped an arm around the younger’s shoulders, squeezing him tight.

“How’d you sleep?” Yoon asked after finally letting the younger man go, Junhee tried to focus on his breakfast, Yoochan’s bright excited smile which normally cheered him up only served to open the hole in his stomach, he needed to fix that.

“I slept great” Yoochan lowered his voice and playfully nudged the older man with his shoulder “would have slept better if you had been there” the two looked so happy, normally this was the time Junhee would be texting Donghun, jealous of the two lovebirds next to him.

“I know Chanie” Yoon’s voice was sweet, Junhee knew how he was smiling based on the face Yoochan was putting on “but we were practicing until so late in the night, weren’t we Junhee?” he turned around, taking Junhee aback.

“Yes… yeah we… yeah” his mouth felt dry, he couldn’t stop thinking about why Yoon would lie like that, they had stopped practice quite early last night actually.

“You promise to come by my room tomorrow?” Yoochan pouted at his boyfriend, his voice sickly sweet, Junhee wasn’t really hungry anymore.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He was alone in his room, or well the room he shared with three others. They were taking a small break and he needed some alone time.

Since breakfast he hadn’t stopped thinking about how Yoon had acted, how Yoochan had acted as well.

He had learned to accept the fact that what he and Yoon had done wasn’t something unique, others were doing It too, but he didn’t like how Yoochan seemed clueless, he didn’t like lying to the maknae.

“Hyung?” he turned his head around so fast his neck almost cracked. Yoochan was standing in the door, keeping it ajar. He sounded small and apologetic for interrupting him.

“Yeah?” he tried to compose himself, belatedly remembering to smile.

“Can I come in?” the younger entered the room before he got an answer, walking over and sitting down on the bed next to the older man.

“Hyung… are you ok?” Junhee could feel his heartbeat increase, Yoochan hadn’t been as focused on his boyfriend at breakfast as he had thought.

“Yeah, why?” he let out a small chuckle, showing his teeth in a grin, prompting the younger to smile back. His eyes were so happy, closing up innocently, Yoochan had a face you couldn’t help but love.

“You barely touched your breakfast” he smiled softly, Junhee couldn’t stop his own smile from fading, he felt guilty for worrying the younger man too.

“Is it because of Donghun hyung?” Donghun… just thinking about him opened the hole again, it also made him jealous, the idea that the other man could be with someone right now, the idea that maybe the reason why he wasn’t sending Junhee a good morning message could be because he was busy with someone else.

“I guess… maybe” he ran a hand through his hair, switching his position so he could stare at the ground, he knew it was only the half-truth, he just couldn’t tell Yoochan about Yoon, which made him just as bad as the other man.

“Hyung…” a tentative hand landed on his back, stroking in small circles “Did anything happen between you two?”

He shook his head after a while “Nothing just… miss him…” he looked up, flashing the smallest smile at the maknae before looking back down “I just… I have trouble just letting go and not thinking about him too much” he let out a small chuckle.

“Hyung…” Yoochan’s voice was somewhat stern, it was more mature than he was used to “how is that a bad thing?” he looked up, the younger man was smiling sweetly, he almost looked amused “You love him, so what does it matter if you keep thinking about him?”

Junhee couldn’t fully understand, or maybe it was Chan who couldn’t understand what Junhee was talking about.

“I mean, I can’t…” he took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts “I know he’s probably having fun there so, I should too but I feel… I don’t know” he sighed again, running both hands through his hair and keeping them there.

“I don’t…. think I understand” Yoochan’s nose scrunched up, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Everyone is doing it… it’s not a big deal… right?” he turned to look at the maknae, his eyes begging for him to just agree, give him comfort. But it was far from what happened.

“Hyung…” Yoochan’s eyes widened “did Donghun hyung… did he… did you…” he paused and lowered his voice “with who?..”

He panicked again, Yoochan’s response made him panic again, his heartbeat, his breath, he felt the hole consume him.

“No! It’s not what you think!” his voice was too loud for his liking, he could see it shocking the younger man who pulled back on the bed, obviously not expecting the sudden outburst.

Yoochan was smiling again “I almost thought you were implying you or Donghun hyung had been cheating or something” he joined Chan in laughing, he had to laugh, but inside he was everything but happy.

“Hyung just try not to worry too much and just enjoy your time here right? You’ll be with Donghun hyung in three days anyway” the younger man grinned again, his eyes squinting up before he got up and left the room.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table, it was Donghun. His hands trembled as he reached for the phone, slowly picking it up.

_“I’m sorry I didn’t text you all morning, I forgot to charge my phone last night so I was out of power TT_

_I hope you slept well, I dreamt about you last night_ ~

 _I love you”_  he suddenly felt sick.


End file.
